A fine mist of pulverised "you don't want to know"

Here's our marriage deal:

I mow the lawn, Scott weedwacks (I don't know why but I always want to put a "H" in "wHeed").

I try to mow the lawn before I go to work so I had to split it by mowing half yesterday and half today. Unfortunately, it's been blazing hot and as I've been sweating it out pushing that lawnmower around, two things strike me. Me and my sisters all had to mow the lawn growing up on the Big Island, mainly because my dad didn't hit the "son" mark until the fourth kid came around. So, for a good decade, it was the Loftus girlies mowing that lawn. I actually like mowing the lawn because I like seeing the clear difference it makes. However, there are two vast differences between my childhood mowing escapades and my current situation.

1. "You don't want to know" piles
Past: Our dog Lassie's um...contributions laid out on the lawn were not left there. Part of lawn duty was to take the shovel, scoop, and toss it into the lot next door. When you live country Big Island, chances are your lawn is going to neighbor some sort of wilderness where "you don't want to know" will disappear in some sort of weird Hawaiian triangle. It was kind of fun when you could see how far you could fling it...and then someone bought the lot and built their house on it...strangely, I don't remember what we did with the poo then.

Present: Scott's dog Charlie also makes daily contributions. But these you leave lying around the lawn like some sort of landmine. I guess it makes sense, our neighbors would really hate us if I tried to clean the lawn Big Island style.

2. Lawnmowers
Past: Our lawnmower was your standard chop-it, spit-it-out-the-side lawnmower. It made for the tedious task of then having to rake up the cut grass. Considering I lived in Honoka'a where it rains 4 days out of every week, it was quite an ordeal. And, then, you guessed it, toss the cuttings into the lot next door...nah, I don't remember what we did with it.

Present: Scott has this mulching lawnmower. It finely chops the grass into a dusting of grass mulch that you don't have to rake up. Love it, wouldn't you.

Except, I realized, if you combine these two factors, you end up with something more than just pulverised grass. A mulching lawnmower combined with piles of "You-know-what" creates clouds of pulverised "you don't want to know." Gross. I tried different methods...I tried running with the lawnmower to rush through the clouds, I also tried squatting and trying to let the wind carry the cloud away...but I don't think there's any way to avoid it. You just have to shower immediately following and burn any clothes you were wearing.

I'm sorry if that was unappetizing and completely random, but this was what I had to think about for forty minutes in the hot sun.

Tomorrow is our church outdoors live worship night at Kaka'ako Park at seven. It's going to be awesome. I wonder if my sister will want to come. Here's a storyboard of Chayne's rolling...Cheyenne hasn't learned how yet(probably because she insists on being carried every waking minute). Chayne is real smart...she tucks her knees under her butt until she's off-balance and then her body just naturally rolls over. I watched her do it three times.