I fell on my ass today

I've been told to blog more...so, Dina...this one is for you. And you best be leaving some sort of acknowledgement, sistah.

I'm deliriously stumbling in Unmotivated Land here, folks. I have emails to return, wedding pictures to process, baby slideshows to finish...a house to clean. and that job thing. Ugh, i want a free assistant.

Today I had to testify in court...quick and out of there. But i couldn't find my regular court shoes so I had to wear the only other nice pair (I had my black pair break on me), which was the white heels with fake bling bling that I wore on my wedding day. Since they are kind of low and my pants are kind of long, I had vague concerns about tripping and falling on my face in front of the jury. I kind of highstepped it to the stand which probably looked insane but kept me upright. Hah, you thought this was going to be a great story of utter humuliation before a honorable judge. Nope. How did my court appearance go? My verdict...um, I'm a perfectionist, I wasn't thrilled with my testimony. Talked too much, went into too much details. There has to be a nice balance.

No the real fun happened when i returned home to find Scott chilling with his best bud, Mike, and my best bud, Haley. I think I might have made some offhand comment that I wished my hammock chair (lying in a crumpled heap on the living room floor) was up and twisting in the wind outside so I could rock away. Two men to the rescue. They spent quite a bit of time, grappling with problems like an inadequate rope, a place to hang it, it being too high and too low. They finally called me out and unveiled the hammock chair hanging from the mango tree...the seat probablly a good 4-5 ft off the ground. I tried to jump up into it and managed to get one knee on top but then I was swinging on my knees facing backwards. I want to twist around but I'm also swinging erratically at some insane height off the ground. I think I'll try to do a quick, jump, twist. So I grasped the ropes and tried to jump off my knee and twist...and...

...bammm, i'm suddenly transported to the a heap on the ground with the broken swing now on top of me. One of the ropes gave out under my monstrous weight (sheesh, boot camp, kick in soon) and the chair literally disappeared under me. At least, Mikey pulled the swing off of me...Scott was too busy doubled over in laughter mumbling something about "oh, if I only had a camera...if I only had a camera." I asked him how come he didn't rush to my side and he gave some excuse about holding Haley or something like that. So I stood up and looked at my ex-chair swing-now a cushion dangling by one cord from the tree branch and i see the culprit...they used zip ties to bind the chair hook to the metal chain. That's what you get when two grown men decide all of the sudden they are MacGyvers.

But I can't complain, because after much time and effort, my green hammock chair now swings softly from the porch beam and I spent 20 minutes swaying in the wind...nursing my bruised ego. All is well with the world.